and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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