Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
