it was like his penis was on wheels.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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