Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
