I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he told me I talked like a deaf person
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
