I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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