i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
