He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
