she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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