just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
