i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It all started with a game of naked twister.
FUCK WHALES
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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