i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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