If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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