Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
why do cheetos always look like penises
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
