She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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