I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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