The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
