After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
