While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
