Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
where am i from again
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
