i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
is that a dick in a sweater?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
