whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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