so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
