Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
