Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
it's like heaven, but drunker
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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