I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
someone owes me an orgasm
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
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