i always forget guys have bellybuttons
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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