im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
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