dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
