4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We had to coat check the pizza.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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