whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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