Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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