I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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