To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Randomize
