My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
