Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
