just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
