My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize
