She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize