I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
The air taste purple.
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