they need to just BURY HIM!
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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