Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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