Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Randomize
