my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Can I color on your dick again?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
