i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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