I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
