Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
