She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
