i jhust puked up my retainher.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
