You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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