So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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