nut hugger
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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