you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
