she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
