oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
