When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
