Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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